Success

“Real success is not to be sought after in the outer world,
but discovered in your inner world.”
 

-Tim Conner

The best and worst thing about having a disability is that as a child you are forced to redefine success.  It is the worst because you learn in many painful ways that you are not like the others.  When teams are picked for softball, you rely on you friends to pick you and hope that you are not last.   Success to me was not being the last person left.  And then success became getting to first base because everyone knew I was incapable of a home run. It was the best in that I learned to keep my positive outlook and come up with my own ways of being a success.  I also was fortunate to grow up in a neighborhood with supportive families who helped me to see that I was lovable just the way I was, giving me my healthy sense of self esteem.

The pain is the pits, but it is through pain that we grow.  I remember my Dad telling me in , his 70’s that he realized that his success as an internationally known electrical engineer meant nothing compared to the lives he helped save as a consultant to the Department of Labor working on electrical standards.  He also confided that he missed out on a lot because he put his career ahead of his children.  To him, as to many men in his generation, success as a father was defined as making money, not spending time with his children.  I thought it sad that he  did not learn this until after he retired.

I also remember being grateful for being born in the baby boom generation who never had to experience the depression, which I felt helped create a generation of parents seeking financial stability.  It seemed to me that with each generation more and more people were changing their definitions of success to inner peace, living in harmony with nature, and love.

Follow this link to a wonderful video based the poem What is Real Success by Tim Connor, posted by Wild Divine last Monday:

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Water

I have had the best week ever.  Even those around me noticed that I seemed to be more alert and energetic.  I made one simple change – I spent last Sunday focusing on the idea that I will commit to perfect health.  On the same day,  I happened to catch a show on the television that featured a doctor saying that he began his day by drinking an 8 – 16 ounces of water.   What he said made sense – that our bodies are mostly composed of water, and while we sleep we are not replenishing our fluids.  It stands to reason that in the morning the best thing we can do for our bodies is to drink water and rehydrate.

I started on Monday morning with an 8 ounce glass of water.  I felt so good that I did it again on Tuesday.  Somehow it was easier for me to replace my second mug of coffee with a mug of herbal tea.  I had been telling myself to do it, but  it was difficult for me – I resisted because I love love love coffee, even though I seem to have developed a problem with acid reflux.  By drinking herbal teas I can cut back on the antacids prescribed by my doctor.  It’s a win win situation!

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Embracing Uncertainty

I used to push myself to do free weights 6 days a week.  I worked as many hours as I could until the back pain got too intense, and then I would ask for a reduction in my hours.  My motivation?  Fear of my uncertain future.  The thoughts of weaker muscles and of not having enough money to go out to eat when I wanted, or to purchase yarn and fabric terrified me.  I wanted to have as much money as possible in the bank and in Social Security before my physical condition deteriorated to the point that I could not work.  I prayed that I would not get worse so that I could work until I was ready to retire.

When I was told by a doctor to stop exercising, it took me months to accept it and stop.   I was so frightened by the prospect of losing what little strength I had, that it was not until I pulled a muscle in my back that I stopped.  Then I was still motivated by fear – the fear that I would do it again and have to take time without pay until I healed.

You would think I would have learned my lesson, but I did not.  When the doctor told me I needed a wheelchair, it took me 3 months and another episode of spastic back muscles to convince me that she was right.

So here I am 11 years later, on disability, having retired at age 53.  I have everything I need, with more than enough money for dining out and purchasing craft supplies.  Looking back I see that I finally learned the most important lesson in my life.  To accept that there is uncertainty in life, and have faith that all will be well.  I have finally learned that if I focus on the here and now, and not on what may or may not happen in the future, I can relax, knowing that nothing is lacking in the present moment.

Recently, after a conversation with one of my oldest and dearest friends, I realized that my prayer had changed.  I no longer ask that my physical condition improve or at the very least, not deteriorate. I ask that whatever happens, I accept it and trust that I will be able to handle it, and most important, that I accept what comes my way without resisting in fear.

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Peace in one minute

Sometimes it is our own negative thoughts that we need to remove in order to be at peace. When I am feeling sad, I find I have been dwelling on something that happened in the past. When I feel anxious, I am usually anticipating something in the future.  Both are a waste of mental energy.  The past is long gone, and the future I am worried about may not even happen!

I do my ABC mental check at least once a day.  Maybe this will work for you as well:

Ask yourself two questions:

“What am I feeling right  now?”

“What is wrong at this moment?”

Usually nothing is wrong – if I have no feeling of peace and ease, I am most likely reliving the past or thinking about the future.

Breath in and then exhale, pushing out all the air in your lungs, and with it any negative thoughts causing stress, anxiety, or sadness.  Hold your breath for at least 10 seconds, focusing on peace.  Release and feel the positive energy of peace fill your lungs.

Continue to the next moment and the rest of your day focusing on breathing out the negative energy and breathing in the positive energy.

 

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Free Crochet Pattern – Cat Toy

Crochet_Cat_Toys1 (1)Here is a fun toy for your favorite cat.  Instant Download from Jamey at Dabbles and Babbles:

http://dabblesandbabbles.com/crochet-cat-toy/

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Free Bottle Cozy Pattern – Instant Download

I developed this quick and easy pattern using chunky yarn with instructions on how to make one and attach it to a stroller, walker, manual and motorized wheelchairs, and crutches.  The one for a motorized wheelchair can be carried over the shoulder by anyone.

006bottlecozy

 

Download your Free PDF file here: 006 Free Bottle Cozy Crochet Pattern from JadeRoseCrochet

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Expand Your Happiness

I began this 21 day meditation challenge yesterday, and I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to find peace and contentment.  Sitting for 20 minutes a day meditating is not for everyone.  Some people like to walk a maze, take a walk in nature, or just sit in silence after their morning prayer.  No matter what practice works for you, it can’t hurt to listen to what Deepak Chopra has to say.  Here is the link:

https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience

Enjoy!

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